'Tis The Season For Excuses

These are the top 5 (most common) excuses people use when requesting a super early refill on their controlled substance medication:

1. I was in a hurry/I was in the dark because I didn't want to turn the light on and disrupt my family/The lid was stuck/I was in a hurry and accidentally dumped all (or most) of my medication down the toilet/sink.
*Why were you opening your bottle of #90 Oxycontin over the toilet/sink? If you want to get an early refill on your meds, be more original and use a different excuse if you want the pharmacist to believe you even 5%.

2. My purse/backpack was stolen, and it had ALL my medication in it.
*So if your purse/backpack was stolen, and it contained $300 in medication, shouldn't you fill out a police report? Ten times out of ten, people with this excuse haven't been able to produce a police report as evidence that their medication was stolen.

3. I've been just so upset this month and so overstressed. I might have been taking an extra tablet here and there.
*At least the people are being a little bit honest with me when they use this excuse. Most people who use this excuse, however, have been just so upset "this month" every month for the past 12+ months.

4. You (the pharmacy) shorted me last month, so I ran out of my medication early.
*There may be some pharmacies out there that guesstimate on the number of tablets they give you; however, we triple count all of our controlled substances. I must admit, there have been one or two cases where we did short somebody, but we have the ability to check on-hand records to determine the validity of your claim.

5. I know the doctor prescribed 4 tablets a day, but he told me I was supposed to take 8 tablets a day instead. He just forgot to write it on there.
*Riiiight.