Have you checked the arrests today?

So in my neck of the woods, checking the county arrest page is a popular activity.  I quite often see that customers of mine have become customers of the local jail.  I've posted before about patients who have come in or called in and cussed me out, only to appear on the arrest page in the days or weeks to follow. 

First, there was the young lass with hair of platinum, teeth of meth, and eyes of stoned fury who insisted that I had shorted her on her Oxycontin and had pocketed some of her medication for myself.  She explained to me that she locked up her medications as soon as she got home from the pharmacy, and when she retrieved them from the safe, some were missing.  Of course, it makes sense to blame the pharmacist, especially when you have to purchase a special safe in which to safely and securely store your medications in your own home.  Anyway, she was arrested a few days after that incident for some type of illegal drug use, and that sure was a shock!

Another example of a customer who ended up in the big house was the woman who claimed that when I had filled 150 of methadone tablets for her, I cut them all exactly in half and then kept half of the halves.  It was either that, or our pharmacy had purchased drugs from some cheap place that couldn't even get their tablets to stay put together.  She called me a &*$(% #@%, and then her husband took over the phone and called me a *#%)!&$ after I suggested that perhaps something transpired between picking up their medication from me and getting home that would have caused all their tablets to break in half and disappear.  Guess what! She got arrested shortly after that (for shoplifting).

So the customer that got arrested a few days ago has never called me a name, and there has been no incident in which she claimed a shortage of a controlled substance.  I just noted something funny about her arrest.  It's not a real giggle type of funny, but rather more of an observational, "Hmmm, that's funny."  It seems as though she was bailed out a few days ago, and a prescription for Klonopin (an anti-anxiety medication) was called in for her today.  The directions stated: Take 1 tablet by mouth on good days, and take 3-4 tablets on bad days.  I'm thinking the day she got arrested was one of those "bad days".  Hopefully this stuff keeps her out of jail, as she was arrested for some type of assault. 

More Braid Brigade

The Braid Brigade has been on my mind a lot lately, and not just because they've been highlighted on the news in recent days regarding all that end-of-world pack a backpack park your car in St. George and walk back home and drink this magical Kool-Aid business. What do I like most about dealing with them?  Well I'm gonna tell ya.

1.  They have the coolest names, like Sweet Caress, Sweet Heaven, Zavenda, Euclinda, Halroy, Esmeranda, Nature, Faithea, Cleat, Dowayne, Lamarelda, Zionicca, Dianabel, Zippidee, Qualadee, Gentle, Delekah, Benessa, Millenia, Concheanna, etc.

2. They make unreasonable demands seem like no big deal.  Fill prescriptions for you and 26 of your closest family members in 3 minutes? Even though you haven't seen your doctor in over a year, you want me to call that doctor and ask them to call in a prescription to treat something you've never been seen for? Bill Medicaid for the wrong patient/date/quantity? Deliver medications to your community 50 miles away twice a day? Stay open until 7:45 even though we close at 6:30? If something isn't covered by Medicaid, just give it to you for free anyway? Sure...why not?

3. When they walk into the pharmacy and I say a bright cheery "Hello!" to them, they glare back or completely ignore me.

4. If there's a herpes outbreak (or any other type of outbreak), they can really clear a shelf of a particular medication.  It makes it easier to dust. 

5. Their hair!