Do YOU know how to run a copier?

As the manager, I get to talk to all the angry people. As I've said before, it's more entertaining than you could imagine, but I have to say I've never been called "too stupid to make a photocopy" before. I picked up the phone to talk to a complainant, and before I could say my name, he asked, "Are you the idiot that runs that place?" I confirmed to him that I was indeed the manager, and then he continued, "Well I'm calling to let you know that you're the sorriest bunch of &$@* idiots and the biggest %*$*# I've ever known and you're $&*# too #$*&@ stupid to run a @#*&$% copy machine." Then I calmly responded, "I would really like to understand you and help you, but it's difficult when your message is broken up with swear words." (Since he never used the "f" word, I wouldn't have been justified in hanging up on him, so I had to let him continue.) He then went on, "Well if you had half a brain in your $&#& head you'd see what a #*&% stupid bunch of idiots you are and you can't even run a copy machine." I attempted once again to ask him what the problem was. He continued, "The problem is that you *$#&% moron can't run and copier and are too stupid to even figure out how to make a *&#&% copy." Hmmm, I could see this was going to be a tricky complaint to get to the bottom of. He finally was able to come up with a wider vocabulary to explain that we didn't copy the worker's compensation information he'd brought in, so when he sent his friend to pick up his prescriptions and he was charged full price, he figured it was because we didn't have his worker's comp info on file correctly, and not because worker's comp didn't cover his Viagra and allergy medication. I explained that to him, and I asked if I could get his other insurance info to see if his regular insurance would at least cover the allergy medication. He said, "You can't help me. It's too &#%! late because [my friend] already left." In my most sickly sweet voice I responded, "Well I can certainly try to help. I could get the insurance information and then mail your medication. Would that help?" His final answer was, "No! What would help is if you taught your &#*% workers how to run a *#*!@ copy machine!" Okay, will do.