Too Elaborate

This twisted tale takes place in a small town. It also involves Plan B (a.k.a. the morning-after pill.) A patient called and asked if she could purchase some. It sounds easy enough. Usually, a person walks in, asks the pharmacy clerk for the item, pays for it and then leaves. That plan was far too simple for this experienced woman. Here are the step-by-step instructions she wanted us to follow to complete the transaction:

1. Find an innocent item, or items, in the pharmacy which would equal the cost of the Plan B.
2. Scan the item(s) and return it/them to the pharmacy shelf.
3. Produce a receipt showing cash payment of the item(s), though no payment would be received until a later hour.
4. If possible, gift wrap the box of Plan B and place it into a bag within a bag with the receipt for items from step 1 attached to the outer bag.
5. Take exact cash from one of her minions at a later undisclosed hour. The amount will equal the item(s) from step 1.
6. Instruct the minion to take the package to a 3rd party...or 4th party, I think.
7. Instruct the minion to instruct the receiver of the package to place the package on the back seat, driver side, of his/her vehicle at 5:30 PM and to leave the vehicle unlocked until 5:45 PM.

This lady gets a prize for ingenuity, but she receives a demerit for dishonesty and lack of common sense. She didn't plan on one thing, however. The pharmacist knows her quite well, and if I wanted to ruin all her hard work, I'd approach her with the advice to just try using good old-fashioned birth control methods.