A Rare Occurrence

Happy American Pharmacist Month! It's been so amazingly amazing thus far that I've been left speechless...3 times!

#1 Cause of Speechlessness: I was seated at a table near the entrance of one of my pharmacies during a health fair. My job was to encourage people to take advantage of the free health screenings, healthy snacks and immunizations. A middle-aged woman dressed in scrubs approached me. I welcomed her quite warmly and said, "I'll bet you've had your flu shot." She fired back, "NO way! I refuse REFUSE to put that poison into my body. I stopped getting flu shots years ago, and if you think for one second you're fooling me, you are dead wrong. They do nothing, and they're good for nothing. I'll bet you didn't know those shots have mercury, and mercury builds up in your body over time and shuts down your heart. It poisons your mind. It poisons your whole body. And that stuff you have there that you're putting into people is to cure last year's flu, and they can't cure viruses. If they could, they'd be able to cure cancer, because cancer is a virus. So GOODbye and NO THANK YOU!" Um, wow. A strange grin remained frozen on my face for that entire thing, and my head did a sort of bob.

#2 Cause of Speechlessness: I decided to help out at the register during a particularly busy moment. A woman gave me her name and birth date, thus allowing me to access information on the computer regarding a prescription she was wishing to pick up. The prescription in question was for colonoscopy bowel prep. It's horrible stuff --- or so I've heard. One day, I realize, I will have the pleasure of partaking of that nasty drink, but until then, I feel it's my duty to lift the broken-hearted and downtrodden souls who must swallow it. So, I said to this woman, with my eyebrows partially raised, "Oh, I see you're here to add a little fun to your week." She responded, most seriously, "It's not fun. Why would you say that!?" Okay, she missed the sarcasm. That's understandable. I continued, "Indeed, it is not fun." She immediately cut in, "Then why did you say it was fun? You are being VERY unprofessional!" That's where the speechlessness began to set in. I tried a different approach. "Okay, well, uh...I...uh...I'm sure you'll be glad when it's all over." Then, she said, "I can't believe how unprofessional you are. Really? Wow. Just very unprofessional." All I could muster at that point was an "Oh." I completed the transaction and gave her helpful instructions regarding flavoring options, reconstitution, and instructions. Then, she flew away. I mean, she walked away. I've never been called "unprofessional." Have I ever been unprofessional? Sure, like 687 times; however, I get called out THIS time?

#3 Cause of Speechlessness: Some dude wanted a flu shot today. As a side note, I HATE giving shots. Though October is American Pharmacist Month, it should be renamed, "Let's Create a Living Hell for the American Pharmacist Month" because of how many people want flu shots during the month. Anyway, I slipped into my fancy blue nitrile non-latex gloves and prepared the shot. Right at that moment, a technician asked me to hand her some blank immunization questionnaires we had in a stack. I then called the patient into the shot room. He sat his grumpy self down and asked, "Okay, one thing I wanna know is, are ya gonna change your gloves?" He could tell I looked puzzled by his request and continued, "I saw you walking back and forth and putting your hands all over all that stuff." Huh? I responded, "I didn't touch anything that I can remember." He shot back, "Oh don't lie to me. I watched you walk out of that room all over and touching all that stuff." I asked, "You mean you watched me step out for a second and hand papers to someone?" He yelled, "Yes! You touched those papers, and then those people, I have no idea who they are, were touching them too." Ah, he and I agreed that I had touched some papers and had only moved a step or two. I pointed to the stack of questionnaires and said, "Oh, those papers just came from that pile." He said, "No, they didn't. I don't know where those papers have been!" I mean, it is true that people lick various pieces of paper from the pile, and on occasion, we line the floor of the restroom with them before they end up in that pile, but how did he know that? He continued, "So are you gonna change those gloves or not!?" I hadn't been scolded like that since...well...I can't really remember, so it left me...speechless. I inaudibly mumbled, "These gloves are more to protect me from the patient, but I guess I'll waste a pair of gloves." Then, for the first time in 3 years, I didn't hate giving a shot.