Drugs of Our Lives

Occasionally I unintentionally embroil myself in drama at the pharm. One day, many years ago, an acquaintance from my youth (my more youthful youth, that is) was passing through town and decided to get her insomnia medication filled at my pharmacy. She had been using my pharmacy every few months, even though she didn't live in the area. Every time she came, she was accompanied by her husband and other family members, until that fateful day...when she came alone. All seemed well, as she joyfully and emphatically exclaimed her excitement at seeing me. (That should have been my first red flag, because am I sassy? Yes. Clumsily entertaining? Yes. Cuddly? Yes. Exciting? No.)

Anyway, I digress, per usual. This particular day, she got her fancy sleep aid prescription filled, and skipped along her merry way. Then, her husband called and asked for me. He wanted to know if his wife was at the pharmacy at that very moment. His question seemed to indicate that he knew she was planning to visit me. I told him he had just missed her. He thanked me and hung up. About 3 minutes later, chick from my childhood called me in a fit of hysteria and sobbing. "How could you tell my husband I was at the pharmacy? We are staying at a condo in town, and I left for just a few minutes while he was in the shower. He can't know I was there. Will you call him and tell him that I didn't pick up a prescription?" I never told him that she HAD picked up a prescription, so I wondered why I needed to perpetuate this lie. I wasn't planning to phone him; however, if I had planned to, he would have beaten me to the phone, because he called about 45 seconds after my conversation with this lady from my earlier life. He said, "I know my wife called you. I know she asked you to lie for her. Please don't lie for her. I am begging you. I have to know if she picked up a prescription." Dude, consent from the patient is not implied for this particular transaction, so I can't really tell you anything. At this point, do I lie? If I decide to lie to him, is there anything I could say that he would believe? Does a wife sneak out while her husband is in the shower just to go buy some bubble gum? Does she sneak out to get him a birthday gift? Is it even his birthday? No matter my choice of reply, nothing will keep my female friend out of trouble. So, I just told him that I can't inform him either way, whether or not she picked up some sleepy-time drugs, or anything else for that matter. That should have worked, right? Hmmm...

Once again, I got a highly emotional phone call begging me to please call the husband and tell him that she was there buying fingernail polish remover and NOT DRUGS! She explained her reasoning for such forceful pleading. "I went to rehab for 6 months because I was addicted to [the medication I picked up today] and I vowed to never use it again," she cried. "If [my husband] finds out I'm taking this medication, he will leave. HE WILL LEAVE ME, KRISTIN!" Neat. This girl has some serious issues. Before I even had a chance to consider calling her husband, he showed up at the pharmacy alone. I was in the back of the store when he arrived, attending to some administrative duties. One of my techs called me to tell me he was there, waiting. I figured the probability of being able to wait him out was low, yet I took my sweet time making my way back to the pharmacy. As I lingered in my safe place, I received another call from a tech in the pharmacy telling me that I needed to come up there, because they were both in front of the pharmacy. She was pulling on his arm, begging him to leave. He wasn't budging. She took off again, and he continued to wait for me. It's nice to have an experience that allowed me to measure my level of cowardice...or my lack of assertiveness. I decided I had better head back and talk to him. He didn't look furious, though his wife told me he would be. The fellow instead very calmly and sincerely professed that he loves his wife more than she realizes and that he would not be mad at her if he finds out the truth. At this point he was nearly in tears pleading with me to tell the truth and let him know what his wife has been up to. Well, can't do it. Pretty sure I've watched/read enough HIPAA training modules to know that I've got to keep my mouth shut. I thanked him for his caring concern for his woman, but once again, I couldn't say anything more regarding her actions that day. Then he REALLY laid on the pressure, and I had to kindly excuse myself and get back to work processing prescriptions, because that's what pays me. I'm not getting paid to mediate for these basket cases. After he left, I got another call from HER. She wasn't too pleased with me. She yelled, "Kristin, what have you done?! He's going to leave me!" I asked her if that's what he said he would do. She said that her husband told her he would be supportive, but he wants to hear the truth from her and wants her to get the help she needs. In her mind, that's the same as abandonment and divorce. I didn't get that vibe from him, but then again, maybe certain sleep meds give a person special powers of fabricating inferences. Gotta try it sometime maybe. Anyway, my hometown person pretty much told me I suck. I haven't seen her since. It's been years, but thanks to social media, I can see that she's still married. It's hard to tell through Facebook whether or not she's addicted to a pill, since I sort of got the boot as a Facebook friend. It's pretty sad story, but I hope there's a drugless happily ever after for her.